Always expect the expectorant

ah, the sound of Benfeita, to be awoken not by the sound of bells, but, by the sound of someone walking past the flat, hoiking up.

Spitting in public is one of the first things that, and I don't want to say 'hits you in the face' but it does seem one of the most appropriate sayings, hits you in the face when you arrive in the mountains here in portugal.

Umbrellas are very popular here. Initially, I thought, because of the amount of rain we get, but, on closer observation it may well be because of all the flying phlegm. when it's windy, like today, watch out, make sure you have on your mackintosh, gum boots, and sou' wester pulled down low over your face.

Hoiking up, isn't, as you might imagine, if you've come from England, the sole domain of snotty kids, or rough looking builders like Rick, but is domain-less here, young and old seem to enjoy the sport, because that's what it appears to have been elevated to. People from all walks of life, and of all appearances like to gob in the street, like it's a hobby.

Strange it seems indeed, when that lovely little old lady, who sweetly smiles her two toothed grin turns her head and lobs one out. or, for that matter the pretty girl, the picture of decorum, the apple of someone's eye, shoots out a throat oyster so big, had it come from the sea you'd have paid money for it.

Here, in the middle of winter, at the market, you could find yourself swimming in a sea of spit, bathing in a bath of bile, floundering in a flurry of plegm, or snorkeling through a snowstorm of snot.

you have been warned.

Day of the sausage

I asked for a sausage maker for my birthday as portuguese sausages (excluding chorizo) are awful and made with sawdust......
Those of you that know Rick, know that he is obssessed with Frank Wight's Pork Awards (Butcher in our UK home town). We can't get those here obviously so we decided to make our own. It didn't start well however, opening the box the maker came in we discovered that one of the legs had broken off, not to worry, one curt email later a piece of kindling will do.....

What kind to make?
A cumberland of course for the comedy value



We will have to perfect the recipe but it was a good start



Make a silly smiley face and eat with beans

s

Trapping tails, part one

Whilst out walking yesterday, the dogs hunted a polecat and it escaped by climbing into a hole in a ruined quinta wall. Might take a long time at this rate to make any hats.......

The Bettys

The good news is that the chicken that was attacked by the fox, did survive and is absolutely fine. The dead one didn't come back to life so we ate her.
We now have two new chickens Ugly and black



and here's Fred stalking the old ones

marmalade

First, ask a friend who owns a tree in fruit, the fruit of which is way too sour to eat and ask if you can have some, pick 4lbs



these are not the traditional seville oranges used for marmalade making, but does it really matter?
Second, cut in half all oranges and squeeze juice out and add to 8 pints of water. Keep pith and pips and pop in muslin bag and tie to side of preserving pan. Also adding, in the same method 2 lemons (from another friends tree!).



Cut all oranges and lemons in quarters and slice finely. Add everything to the pan and simmer gently for 2 hours.



Meanwhile, play some music and get upset and homesick, cry a bit. Turn music off as everything makes you cry and sow some seeds as it's a flower day.



After two hours of not listening to mournful music or sewing yet more flower seeds (how many flowers does anyone really need). Wash your jars and pop in the oven ready for sterilising, you can always waste a bit more time sorting out the (f)utility room, getting rid of stuff that you thought might be useful but hasn't been, throw away some mouldy apples. Hopefully that will have killed a bit more time. Anyway, after two hours add sugar, the recipe called for 8lbs but I only had 7 lbs and didn't fancy a walk to the shop, which is usually shut anyway. So reduced sugar recipe it is...

Pop some saucers in the freezer, ready for testing, get the mountain of sugar to dissolve, and do endless tests with marmalade on frozen saucer, until it is set.

Leave marmalade to rest for 20 minutes and put oven on to sterilise jars. When you have finally had enough of waiting around, make a big sticky mess by getting marmalade into jars, I do have a funnel for this but it never seems to fit into the top of my jars....seal and pop lids on, realise you don't have enough jars, scrabble around in futility room again, wash them, relight the oven and sterilise.Finally put all jars of marmalade in the cupboard with all the other chutneys, relishes and strange jams that nobody ever eats and go out.